Having had a long time to observe the behavior of men towards women at the poker table, and how women are therefore perceived, I would like to paint you a picture of how this all looks, from a woman's perspective. Surely most of the women reading this have had to deal with a man trying to put you on "tilt" by "smack talking". Basically, being told that you have no place in poker, and being pre-judged a certain way, just because of your gender. Although these men are completely in the minority, and most men at the poker table treat the women very well (usually from fear of their own wives or girlfriends), there are some who just don't get it.

While playing at a $5-$10 Limit Hold'em table at The Goldstrike Casino in Tunica, MS, I was on a strong winning streak. My luck was amazing. Over a couple of hours I had won most all of my blind hands. At one point, after having won four in a row, the man two seats to my right began to do his best imitation of Mike "The Mouth" Matusow. He started berating me about how bad my play was, and how I shouldn't have even been in those hands. After watching me flop trip 8s with Q8o against his 2 pair, and two pair with K7o against his top pair, and a full house with 32s against his A high flush, he began to whine incessantly and attempt to "put me in my place." Of course, I didn't mention that I wouldn't have been in those hands had he raised preflop. His only mental activity seemed to be the creation of verbal jabs, not a change in poker strategy. He was now tilting with me as his main target. He stopped folding, even when he had cards unworthy of a donation to the Salvation Army, because he had to beat me. With his anger boiling, I was determined to defend my right to be at that table. No matter how much of his money it cost me.

Soon, a new dealer took a seat. He made the "mistake" of laughing at some of the comments I was making to this man, whom we will now call "Whiney". This is a family-friendly version of what he was called that night. You can complete the name in your own mind for a more enjoyable and realistic story. The dealer was a large man and Whiney saw another target. He began to berate the dealer about his weight. To this dealer's credit, he allowed Whiney to continue playing. But since he refused to defend himself, I made it my mission to do it for him.

I looked down at my hole cards to see a J-10 of hearts - in the big blind. Whiney decided to turn up the heat and finally raised preflop while on the button. Just for another opportunity to smack talk him some more and get under his skin, I decided to stay in the hand. So I re-raised him, and asked, "Why are you even playing this hand? You know it is my blind and that I never lose a blind." He began to say how this hand was going to cost me a fortune, because he had the winner, and that "you should go back to the kitchen where you belong". I retorted that I could play all day since I was playing with HIS money, and I was more than happy to take the rest of it right now. Everyone else at the table folded except for one, so the three of us capped the pre-flop betting. While fearing that this hand was going to cost me a fortune, all for the joy of needling this man, I decided to stay in anyway. Yep.this is gonna hurt.

The flop came down 8h 9c 7h. Woohoo! I have the straight! I might enjoy this hand more than I thought. To my surprise, my bet was raised before it got to Whiney (having nearly forgotten about the third player in the hand), and then re-raised by Whiney (which was expected). Fearing a set and a flush draw, I just called as the other two again capped the betting. Whiney mouthed, "What, are you scared?" I then replied: "Why would I be scared to play with your money?" Our dealer can't resist laughing again at the crossfire, which brings a comment from Whiney. He says "You know, for someone with more chins than a Chinese phone book, I wouldn't be laughing if I were you." I fired back with "Very original dude. When he catches you in the parking lot after the game, I'm sure he'll get quite a few more laughs," which tickled the dealer who just had to laugh some more.

With both rounds capped, I knew I was against a set and a flush draw. I tried to will the next card by chanting inside "no heart, no pair, no heart, no pair, no heart, no pair!" The turn card is dealt, and is a 9 of hearts. My lightning fast mind thinks "oh man, a heart and a pair!" I'm so busy thinking that I'm now beaten that I didn't even realize that that heart gave me the Straight Flush! Finally it hit me, "that's my heart!" I checked because my hands felt too shaky to bet. Now don't laugh, it's true, I was PUMPED! I really wanted to beat this guy. Winning the hand was not as important to me as beating HIM! I guess he did have me on tilt. I had just lucked into the perfect hand when I only stayed to beat him - the same thing he was doing to me for the last hour or more. The other player bets. Of course Whiney raises and says "Why don't you just fold? You know you don't have it!" I jabbed back and said "Dude! Have you been playing in the same game as I have? I never lose my blinds!" Whiney replied "Wanna bet?" To which I exclaimed "Absolutely!" and re-raised him, which brought more laughter from the dealer. Whiney then says to the dealer "why don't you shut up?" I had to reply with "Why don't you use some of the manners your momma raised you with?" Whiney then says "My momma didn't raise me" I retorted "Yeah, you've made it quite obvious you were raised by wolves."

Once again, the three of us capped out the betting. The River card is a 6 of spades, and as expected, everyone raised until the betting was capped. After all the bets were in, it was time to turn up the cards. Whiney slams his cards down, out of turn, with the words "Take THAT bitch!" He had the Ace and King of hearts, which he thought gave him the nut flush. I slow rolled my cards, and as the Straight Flush becomes seen, the dealer busted out in laughter and called the floor manager over since the Straight Flush is a bonus hand which earned me an extra $50.00. Whiney sat in stunned silence, a first for him that night. The other man showed his pocket 7's which had given him a full house.

So while signing for the bonus money, I did something that I never do at the table, I gloated. I couldn't resist baiting Whiney some more by saying "Dude, not only couldn't you beat me, but you had the worst hand! Kind of sucks, huh? Almost as much as losing to a girl I'd imagine!" He starts mumbling under his breath calling me everything but a lady. Our dealer is still laughing and shaking his head. The floor manager hands me my $50.00, and I hand it to the dealer. He deserved it after having to put up with all that abuse. I tell him "I don't need it; I have all of Whiney's money." Now this is the point where Whiney made his biggest mistake. He was so angry when I did that (which I admit was the reason for me actually doing it), that he forgot the floor manager was still standing behind me and called me a. well, you can imagine. Before I could even reply, he was being tossed out of the casino. I would like to add a special thanks to Terry the floor manager for taking up for me, the innocent victim (wink, wink).

Doc

Editor's Note: Ditch Doc has been a staff writer with OWPT for over a year now, and recently played in the WSOP in Las Vegas. She has also recently put up her own webpage for poker players - http://totalbluff.com/